Guilt
by blissyblissliss
Summary: Shinobis, however seasoned, are still humans, as Tenten finds out on one of her missions. [Nejiten]


"_Come here Aiko, I've brought you something to read,"_

_The girl who was addressed ran to her dutifully, her eyes reflecting excitement and interest as expected from a child. Running towards her nanny, she hugged her tightly into an embrace._

"_Thank you! What have you gotten for me this time? I hope it's a nice book, I love books!" The young girl had chatted happily, and her curious gaze had morphed into one of joy when she saw the latest gift her nanny had gotten for her. Sitting cross-legged on the ground, she turned the book over and read its summary on the back cover. She smiled and thanked her brown haired, brown eyed nanny gratefully._

_Aiko opened the book, admiring the beautiful drawings as well as the rich and vibrant colours used in the book. When Aiko became engrossed by the pictures, which seemed to have an interesting story behind it, the woman who was her nanny unclipped the long plaited rope that was attached to the two sides of the shopping bag._

_The movement was so fast that the young child did not even feel the rope go around her neck. With a strong and sudden pull, Aiko's head jerked back and with one flick, her vertebra had snapped. Her chin slumped onto her chest as blood started to trickle out of her mouth, down her chin, seeping into and staining the pages of the book a dark red._

_The nanny gazed down at the corpse of her charge of less than a week, and smiled bitterly. Such beauty, like a flower, but now with its stalk snapped into half. Bending down to her charge, she closed those large vacant eyes, eyes which had been shining with life and joy just seconds before, but were now empty and vacant. Soon, the first few signs of decomposition would occur._

_Mission accomplished._

Large raindrops pounded relentlessly against the ground as the chilly winds howled to make their presence known. She was soaked to the bone, but made no move to stop for shelter. The chill in the air caused her teeth to start chattering, but she ignored it. All she wanted was to get back to Konoha… get back to her home, get back to him.

The rain was pouring from the sky in torrents, obscuring her vision. Any other shinobi would have stopped to take shelter elsewhere, but she continued to push on, applying more chakra to her feet to propel her forwards. In her haste, she tripped over a branch and stumbled to the ground. Cursing her carelessness, she brushed the moist leaves off her clothes and continued running towards Konoha.

The current stormy weather reflected her inner turmoil. It was just a mission, and she had never ever thought that her feelings and her conscience would come back to haunt her. Jounins like her were assigned such assassination missions regularly, and she had completed many of those efficiently and without a shred of regret or a pang in her conscience. After all, all these assassinations and blood were all part and parcel of the life of a shinobi.

But this was different. The ones she had the pleasure of assassinating before this were all adults, hard seasoned criminals who posed a threat to the safety of Konoha, or political figures that were getting too large for their boots. She had felt no remorse in assassinating them, and actually took pride in being the kunoichi that had successfully completed the most assassinations. She had thought that after having so much blood on her hands, she would never feel any remorse in killing.

But she was wrong.

Had the rational side of her taken over, she would have blamed herself for allowing an emotional bond to be established between her and Aiko. She should have known. But it was almost impossible to dislike that young girl who was always cheery and always had a smile on her face. Worse still, the fact that Aiko had resembled Hikari so much made her mission even harder. Nonetheless, Tenten had applied for the job for Aiko's nanny, while other shinobis made it certain that no other applicants would be considered for the job. So, after a week, the brown haired, brown eyed kunoichi started her week's job in the Daimyo's household as the nanny of the Daimyo's only, and much cherished daughter.

She had reminded herself not to get too attached with her charge, but young Aiko, with her dark hair that was as dark as ebony and with expressive dark brown eyes which seemed to always sparkle with warmth and young curiosity, reminded her of the daughter that she had left behind in Konoha. Although she had been rather reserved at first, preferring not to interact too much with the girl unless absolutely needed, her young charge had broken through her defenses, and slowly, Tenten realized that she had began treating little Aiko as her daughter.

She had been given a week to assassinate Aiko. The mission details dictated that she had to gain the trust of her employers and charge before she could proceed further. At first, there were armed guards stationed around Aiko at all times, but after gaining the trust of the daimyo, his wife and Aiko, the armed guards had retreated. The daimyo and his family had been very friendly, and had treated her as a member of their family. She could never forget the day before, where the daimyo had presented her a splendid yukata as a token of appreciation for caring for their daughter.

If only they had known what she had been sent to their household for.

As she heard the inevitable snap of the vertebrae of Aiko's neck, a part of her died along with her charge. She didn't know why Aiko was to be assassinated, and didn't want to know why. If she knew, she would only be able to witness the cruelty of humankind once again. There were some out there who were cruel enough not to even spare an innocent child whose only misfortune was to be born into a family involved in the conflict. She herself had been one of these children, but was lucky enough to be rescued and sent to Konoha's orphanage to be taken care of.

Shinobis were tools of the village, and being a jounin, she was one of the most important tools of the village. Like tools, they were just supposed to get the job done, and not to get any emotions involved in the process. Shinobis were mercenary to an extent, doing the dirty work for the rich for money. The only difference between shinobis and mercenaries were that shinobis were loyal to their birth village. She was honour-bound to Konoha, the village not of her birth, but the one which had raised her, had trained and polished her to the woman she was today. She had a lot to thank Konoha for that, which was probably why she had felt so duty-bound to serve her village in the only way she knew how, even after her marriage and motherhood.

Married kunoichis that remained active were a rare bunch, as many preferred to just settle down and treasure the remaining part of their lives with their other half. Married kunoichis with children who were active were even fewer. Hyuuga Tenten was one of these rare kunoichis. Ino had retired gracefully after almost twenty years of ninjahood just last year, after her marriage to Shikamaru had borne her twins. Sakura on the other hand, had not retired after her marriage to the ANBU squad overall in charge, Uchiha Sasuke, but had chosen to remain in the Konoha Hospital to offer her expertise, rather than to go out of the village to complete missions. Out of the rookie nine, only she and Hinata, surprisingly, still went out to complete high level missions once in a while.

The rain had lightened slightly, and at last, she could see where she was going. Her legs were weary and had started to cramp up, but she didn't notice, and she didn't care. All she wanted was just to reach home, back to Konoha and her family, back to where she could feel safe and loved.

The large towering gates of Konoha towered before her, and upon seeing it, she was almost ready to cry in relief. It was already night time, and besides the flame of the guard posts, the whole town was dark. She was supposed only to reach Konoha by the next day, but her increased speed and determination to get back had gained her a day. Wearily, she trudged on, not shouting her customary hello to the guards on duty, her whole clothing soaked to the bone. She was tired, both physically and emotionally. A cool breeze blew past, and she shivered, seemingly noticing for the first time that her clothes were wet from the rain earlier. Her legs suddenly shook and she found her knees collapsing on the dirt ground. What shocked her was not because she had fallen, but the fact that she had not even realized that she had fallen.

Instantly, she felt a familiar presence crouched next to her. She turned her head around and almost cried. Long lark ebony hair tied up neatly in a low ponytail, silvery pale lavender eyes… "Neji," she whispered, as she tried to get up, but failed as her legs refused to obey her.

"Lee, take over my spot as well, I'm taking Tenten back," he called up to the guard post. At the corner of her eye, Tenten could see her other teammate and close friend saluting, and yelling for her to take care of herself. She tried to smile back, and even raised her hand in a wave. Before she knew it, she found herself being scooped up and carried bridal-style by her husband. She sighed softly and rested her head against his chest, feeling and enjoying the cool breeze and listening to Neji's rhythmic heart beat against his chest.

Minutes later, they reached their home. Treating her as if she were a fragile doll, he placed her down gently on the sofa and sat facing her.

"Did something happen? Are you feeling all right?" He asked, his pale eyes reflecting his worry.

She tried to smile up at him, but she couldn't. She wanted to tell him that everything was fine, that she had completed her newest assassination mission successfully, but felt her throat seemingly closing up. Her eyes welled up with tears as she fought to compose herself. She felt gentle fingertips brushing away the tears which streaked down her face and looked into a pair of worried and concerned eyes.

"Tenten, what's the matter? Tell me," Neji was shocked to see his usually emotionally-strong wife dissolving into tears. Her latest mission must have affected her deeply, and no wonder, he had thought when she had showed him her mission scroll. Before he could blink, Tenten had encircled her arms around him and locked him into a tight embrace.

"I'm not okay," she choked out, before breaking down completely. The guilt and self-loathing threatened to consume her, as her body shook with sobs. Not knowing the best way to comfort her, he simply hugged her tightly, offering silent comfort against her inner demons.

"Her name was Aiko, and she looked so much like our Hikari. And I—I killed her," she whispered hoarsely, her eyes looking straight into his. Upon seeing the haunted look residing in her usually bright eyes, his heart squeezed tightly. He understood. The target was a little girl whose features were eerily similar to that of their own five year old child. His sympathy for his wife turned to anger directed towards the Hokage. Just what on earth was that bloody woman thinking, sending Tenten, a mother, to assassinate a child with features so eerily similar to that of her own child? His silvery eyes narrowed slightly as he made a note to have a word with the Fifth the next day.

The life of a shinobi was hard. He was also no stranger to assassination missions, having gone on and completed a few by himself. Being a shinobi tested one both physically and emotionally. Shinobis were not supposed to feel emotions, not supposed to allow their emotions to get into the way of their job, but any shinobi, however seasoned or war-experienced, would tell you that it was impossible.

Shinobis were human.

That would remain an unchangeable fact.

"Tenten, it's not your fault, please don't blame yourself," He whispered, holding his wife tightly, stroking her hair gently.

He didn't speak further, just continued his silent administrations. Based on experience, what his wife needed most was just time for her to get over it. Meanwhile, while she battled her inner demons, all he could do was to offer her his silent support.

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A/N: Thanks for reading! Kindly leave a review to tell me what you think :) Reviewers get a cookie:P


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